Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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