i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
