if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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