If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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