Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
