is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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