Can i not drive my cunt home
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
