For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
