I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
