Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
