Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
