it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
