i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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