are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Its about making memories worth repressing
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
