i don't like sucking hair
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
