sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
