its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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