Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
