Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize