I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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