I bet he comes in French.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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