You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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