The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
