i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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