So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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