You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
