I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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