Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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