Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
