wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
