My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dicks are not precious.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
