I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
