never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
