Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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