This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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