they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He shit in the fireplace
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
