I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
