I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
