i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
