i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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