And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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