The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
