her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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