There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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