saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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