i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
