i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize