i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize