Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
