**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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