I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
