I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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