so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
