Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
