I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
