a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
