Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
