it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
