So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
