i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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