...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
